Category Archives: Failure

May22

Or You Could Let It Die

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Or You Could Let It Die

Teri

I have a lot of dreams.

I want to see the Body of Believers coming alive to their passions and dreams. I want to abundant life spilling out all over the place. I want to see all Christ-followers taking their role in God’s Kingdom work.

And, I want to write compelling stories that inspire people to dream bigger.

About 7 years ago, I wrote a non-fiction book called, Passionate Peace – The Art of Surrender. (You can still get a copy if you want!) I wrote a blog for 3 years called, Restless Peace – The Art of Trusting God in the Waiting. And I’ve written several workbooks and devotionals.

Non-fiction doesn’t scare me. It’s just like teaching without the whiteboard and Powerpoint.

I’ve never even considered writing fiction. I thought I’d leave that up to the really creative people.

About 4 years ago I had a “while you are sleeping” dream. It was a very intricate, interesting, and involved story. I woke up and realized I had almost all the details of a really cool fantasy/sci-fi novel. So, I wrote them down and then kept writing and writing and writing and writing and writing…

Then I had another dream of a story. I woke up and started writing that one down and kept writing.

Since that first dream, I’ve written about 1,000 pages of material; back history, character sketches, outlines, and copy. There are at least 7 different books in there somewhere. I have the first draft of one book done and am working on draft three of another.

I guess it was a few months ago when I realized God wanted me to finish these books .

Once again I have no idea how to do what God is asking me to do. I just know I have to do it.

When I started writing fiction I was absolutely terrible at it.

Nearly 1,000 pages and thousands of hours later, I’m now only fairly terrible at it. I’m improving!

I write from 5-6:30 am and from 9-10pm most days – squeezing it into my otherwise busy schedule. (I didn’t say it was easy.

I’ve been tempted and tempted often to let this dream die and chalk it up to the “tried and failed” category.

I have a feeling that most dreams die like this.

The gap between where I currently am (fairly terrible, unskilled, and about about 50,000 words of rewrites away from having anything I can publish), and where I want to be (published and an awesomely skilled writer) is quite large and very daunting.

If there is one thing I’ve learned about dreaming though, is that you don’t give up. If God is truly in this, and I believer he is, then I will get what I need just when I need it. Even if it isn’t what I think I need when I think I need it.

I’ve learned to trust him with my dream. He cares about it more than I do.

And I’ve also learned that God rarely uses money or time to motivate you to give up on the dream.

The biggest difference between people who see their dreams actualized and the rest of us is perseverance NOT talent.

If you are in the midst of a dream and it looks like you’ve hit a dead end, chances are it’s only meant to help you wait while another path is being opened up. Don’t give up.

For most people, that journey looks something like this:

tried…
failed…
learned…
adjusted…
realigned…
tried again…
failed again…
waited…
struggled…
learned…
grew more trusting…
adjusted again…
waiting again….
grew more patient…
realigned…
experienced peace…
struggled some more…
experienced joy…
and finally broke through…

This is the dream journey most people have to go through. You could embrace it.

Or you could just let it die…like millions of other dreams before yours.

What if we pushed through and kept working at it?

What if most dreams didn’t die before they became fully alive?

What does your dream journey look like?

May18

Let’s Get Moving

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Let’s Get Moving

Teri

Exactly one year ago today, a small band of intrepid travelers set out on the first Dream Tour.

I was totally and completely FREAKED OUT…scared to death…

I had no clue what I was doing or why I was doing such a crazy thing. 
***LOONEY TUNES****

There was just that nagging….thing…inside me that said, “Go.” And I knew I had to go or else I would regret it the rest of my life.

There were misunderstandings, misconceptions, miscues, misdirection, and several screw-ups – most of which I caused.

From the inside looking out, it was a total disaster…failure…abysmal bomb.

From the outside looking in, people were encouraged, inspired, challenged, and touched.

It was like God was somehow turning the inabilities into something better.  huh.

I think I read that somewhere…

It was so compelling that I needed to keep going. Despite my failing. Despite my weakness. Despite my insecurities.

Now, I’m not so inept. I’m growing and learning and getting better at doing this crazy thing. I still have a long way to go, but it’s better than it was a year ago.

Here are the biggest lessons learned in the last year:

1. It’s not easy.
I think I expected it to be much easier, fewer obstacles, more things I did well, fewer mistakes. Nope. My American tendency to try to find the most comfortable route does not serve me in this Kingdom dream journey.

2. But, it’s much, much better.
Okay. So it sounds cliche I know. But, it’s true. Truer than I can describe in words. Living out your God-give Kingdom purposes, however inept I am at it, is much more fulfilling and satisfying than not doing it. No matter how scary it is.

3. Don’t give up.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to give up during this last year. Probably once a week or so I’d break down into an emotional tirade, “I CAN’T DO THIS!”  After I smacked the wall of my insecurity at full speed and went **SPLAT**, somehow God would give me just enough to get me back on my feet and moving again.

I’ve seen that most dreams don’t come fully alive because most people give up on them.

4. You won’t have everything you need before you begin.
I’ve learned that you won’t be ready when God calls you to do something. You will have lots of gaps between what you need to do it and what you have at your disposal. He does that on purpose. So that you have to learn to rely on him.

5. God works on your fear **AS YOU MOVE DESPITE YOUR FEAR**.
Your fear won’t be gone before you launch out. You won’t be ready. You’ll probably be scared to death. God works on breaking down your fear step-by-step, as you move, as you trust, as you go along the journey. It’s as you take action that God does his best work in you.

6. I still don’t know what I’m doing exactly. I don’t have to.
I’m still making mistakes and learning from them. I still occasionally want to quit. It’s still not easy. And I’m still a bit afraid. But, I am learning just how much I can trust a very big God who cares more about His Kingdom coming alive in and through me than I do.

When it’s all said and done, it’s God’s dream.

He is simply inviting us into the journey with him.

I’d suggest you take him up on it.

Is there a passion to do something you aren’t sure you can do? A dream stirring in your heart that doesn’t seem to go away?

Don’t waste anymore time. Let’s get moving.

If you would like some help, encouragement, or coaching, just email me. I’ll be happy to help you explore the possibilities.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

May4

Fear is Stealing Our Dreams

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Fear is Stealing Our Dreams

I’ve met with over a couple thousand dreamers in the last year.

Know what?

The biggest obstacle to living out our God-given passions and dreams is not money, time, or talent…it’s fear.

Fear of the “what if’s?”

Our fear holds us back more often than actual, tangible barriers.

Our fear is stealing abundant life from us. And we let it happen.

I want to see a world in which Christ-followers move past their fear and take a hold of the promises Jesus gave us.

Here is just one…

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.” John 14:12-13

Do you dream as though this were true?

Here is an excellent article by Jeff Goins who is guest posting on Michael Hyatt’s blog today. Please take the time to read it. It could change your life.

How to Live Your Dream When You’re Scared to Death

There is a tragedy in our world today. Most people aren’t living their dreams, and the reason is simple: fear. They’re scared to be who they are.

When you endeavor to find your life’s work, there is a lot at risk:

  • You could fail.
  • You could lose the respect of your friends.
  • You could go broke.

You could mess up in a hundred different ways. But—and this is important—you could also succeed. And until you start living into your calling, you’re robbing the world of a gift.
Read the rest of the post here…

Apr9

God is Good Even When It’s Hard

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God is Good Even When It’s Hard

Teri

I was really, really ticked at God.

Last Friday Ruby broke down and we were left stranded on the side of the road.

It wasn’t so much that the van broke down. Honestly, Ruby is 12 years old and after about 15,000 miles in the past year, she was bound to need a bit of an overhaul.

No. It was that just before Ruby coughed and choked and gasped to a dead stop, I prayed a prayer in the deepest part of my heart that went like this,

“Father God, Lord Jesus, I’m asking you to make things a little easier for me. This journey toward radical faith has been a bit hard. I’m a bit tired. I’m not exactly sure what to do next. So, I’m asking you to camp angels around the van and keep her going. I’m asking you to help me clearly see the future and how to take the ministry of the Dream Tour into the next season. I’m asking for enough provision and safety. I am begging you to make the way easier for a little while.”

I literally finished that prayer when; cough, choke, gasp and Ruby broke down.

Kind of hard not to see that as a divine slap in the face, eh?

At first we all thought that God was doing to do something miraculous. So, we started singing praises and made some lovely declarations about how the powers of darkness could not diminish our faith. We prayed and asked for a miracle, “Make Ruby start!“

OH. That would have been easy, right?

Not so much.

So, then I started praying for a knight-in-shining-armor-mechanic to stop and save the day. I watched eagerly for someone to pull over to help us. We were stranded for two hours and not one solitary Good Samaritan stopped.

We started making phone calls. We were only about 1/2 mile west of Parachute, Colorado. We were so close we could have  seen the mechanic’s shop if we had binoculars. Surely they would send someone out to help us?

Not gonna happen at 6pm on Friday before a Holiday weekend. Not even in the happy little town of Parachute, Colorado.

I called our insurance road side assistance hot line. The recording said, “We’re sorry, but this office is closed. Please call the number listed on your insurance card for further assistance.”  That was the number listed on my insurance card.

Just before Ruby croaked we had planned to stop at the next exit for a bathroom break and some fuel. Little did I know it would be another three hours before we got to a restroom. Being stranded when you have to go really, really bad and with no secluded area available to you is not easy!

We finally got a hold of a tow-trucking company. We paid them $170 to take Ruby 20 miles in the wrong direction.

The host family we were planning to stay with in Grand Junction are wonderful. After several phone calls and going back and forth, Cal and Jan drove an hour one-way to come pick us up. They expected us to stay one night – we’ve been here for three so far.

Nothing about that evening was easy. And I was really angry about it. I had just asked for easy and I got really, really difficult.

I can over-spiritualize, over-analyze, or be a positive Pollyanna about it. But I won’t.

Breaking down Friday sucked. It was hard to be stuck, praying for someone to come and no one came. It was uncomfortable. It interrupted our plans in a big way.

Today we find out the prognosis for Ruby. It could be something easy or something big.  We don’t know and we don’t have a ton of $$ in the coffers, as you know.

Right now, I don’t know why God gave me difficult when I prayed for easy. I may or may not ever know.

I know that we got to pray with Al, the tow-truck guy, who shared that he nearly died a couple months ago. We prayed for healing and health for him.

I know that we’ve had a wonderful time with Cal and Jan this Easter weekend.

I know I got to hike in the Colorado National Monument park yesterday. It was incredible. I met and prayed with a family there.

And I know somewhere in the deepest part of my knower that God is good even when it’s hard.

I pray that your day is filled with hope and God’s love even when it’s difficult.
“Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord his God,
who made heaven and earth,
the sea, and all that is in them,
who keeps faith forever;” Psalm 146:5-6

Mar20

The Choices of Fall Victims

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The Choices of Fall Victims

Teri

I’ve been struggling a bit lately.

I’ve picked up on a pattern of mine…just before each new tour, I’m plagued by doubt, fear, and insecurity.

It sucks.

Perched at the beginning of my fourth tour, I can peer back and see a few lessons learned about insecurity and faith.

I’ve learned that I’ve fallen victim to the victim mentality. I’ve used the “my life has been difficult” and “I’m in a tough place” excuses for too long. There comes a point when you need to stop believing that life tosses you about helplessly.

Life is hard. Life can be heartbreaking.

But allowing life to dictate your security makes the damage permanent.

How this plays out in my (now) seven year old is like this…

(sound of Lily crying)
“Lily honey, what’s wrong?”
“I almost fell!”  (sobbing hysterically)
“Are you hurt honey?”
“Nooooooooooo!”  (sniffle, sob, blubber)
“So, why are you crying?
“Because I almost fell!” (duh, mom!)
“But, you didn’t sweetie. That’s good, right?”
“I knooooooooow!”  (sobbing increases)

She’s fallen before. She knows the pain. She doesn’t want to feel it again.
However, she relives the pain each time she gets close to the edge.

She doesn’t even have to fall again to feel the pain. 

Some of that is healthy, right?

You’ve fallen. It’s usually a bad thing. So you avoid doing things that might make you fall again.

It’s not healthy if every edge and every fall makes you relive the pain of every other fall.

That’s when you get stuck in the victim mentality. That is when the damage becomes permanent.

It’s more subtle when it plays out in adults.

It makes us do some really, really stupid stuff like:

  • sabotage relationships before they get too close.
  • procrastinate on stuff we know we need to do for fear we’ll fail.
  • become experts at making excuses for staying stuck.
  • be too busy but never accomplish anything.
  • become judgmental so we don’t have to look at ourselves.
  • become complacent so we never risk anything.
  • work too hard to disprove what we believe about ourselves.
  • freak out exponentially compared to the actual risk.

The victim mentality keeps us stuck in fear. We cry though we haven’t actually fallen. We relive the pain of the fall over and over again. And we learn damaging coping techniques.

We think it keeps us safe when it’s really keeping up stuck.

What does this looks like in my life right now?

I sense God moving me to the next level of the dream. The more I pray and seek and discern God’s will, the more I believe God is going to ask an even higher level of commitment from me. And I was just getting used to the last one!

I’m terrified. I’m in new territory; places I’ve never been before…

What if I fall? 

I can feel the sobs beginning to make their way up my throat just thinking about it.

I’m finding it difficult to take a step. Frankly, I’m not sure which way to go. I’m stuck…frozen…helpless. If I stay here or back away, then the damage of all my previous falls becomes permanent.

Every one of us is a fall victim.
It’s our choices that determine if we stay a victim.

I can choose.

I can choose not to relive all the pain of my past falls.

I can choose to stop crying about almost falling.

I can choose not to be a victim any longer.

I can choose to stop making excuses.

I can choose to trust God completely.

I can choose to grow up.

Although I’m not sure how and I’m pretty sure there will be some painful falls ahead for me, I choose to grow up. I choose to keep walking forward in this Kingdom dream and trust God knows what he’s doing.

Is there some area of your life you’ve fallen victim to your past falls?  Are you stuck there?

What do you choose? 

Mar18

Hope in Uncomfortable Places

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Hope in Uncomfortable Places

Teri

I’ll be honest…

Running after my God-given purpose is hard. I thought it would be easier.

I was wrong.

Dreaming big is stretching me in ways I never even knew could be stretched. It makes me vulnerable. It often asks me to risk failure. Dreaming big pushes me into very uncomfortable places.

Sometimes I want to give up. Sometimes I want to run in the opposite direction and do something safer.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:6

I think that most of us would agree with this verse. “Why of course! God’s strength always sees us through.”

Being utterly dependent on God’s strength has made this verse very real to me.

No cliché. No gimmick. No Pollyannaish glazing over of the truth.

It’s true…

However, I struggle to explain it in a way that doesn’t come off as cliché or Pollyannaish. But, here it goes…

It’s difficult to “drop your nets” (see Matthew 4:19-20) and follow Jesus. It doesn’t matter what the Kingdom dream is whether it’s marriage, family, community, justice, medical, education, business, ministry, corporate, or missions.

I won’t sugar coat it. Just about everything within me wars against the level of dependence God asks of me. Sometimes it feels like my humanness is screaming at the cellular level, “Impossible!”

Yet, there is still something deep down…something I can’t explain…that knows God’s call and is compelled to follow.

“…God is the strength of my heart…”

It’s when I get to the end of my own strength that I really know it.

There you have it:

  • When I’m afraid – there’s love.
  • When I’m vulnerable – there’s peace.
  • When I’m uncomfortable – there’s joy.
  • When I’m failing – there’s power.
  • When I want to give up – there’s hope.

Don’t give up on your Kingdom dream. Don’t do it. Keep going. Keep believing. And when you don’t have the strength to believe – know that the God of hope will carry you.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13

Mar17

Dreams and Distractions

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Dreams and Distractions

Teri

I had an unproductive week.

It was one thing after another and “poof” – I was distracted.

I get distracted much easier than I used to. It’s to be expected when you live out of a suitcase and move locations a couple times a week. (I had no idea how much I would miss having my own dresser drawers and refrigerator!)

Being distracted sucks.

I’m learning a few things though.

Here are three things that often get you sidetracked:

  • Being tired – We are much more likely to get off track when we’re exhausted.
  • Being over-committed – Too many balls up in the air at the same time means we can’t focus on any of them well.
  • Being insecure – If we aren’t sure we can succeed at doing something, we’re ten times more likely to pull away and make excuses for not doing it.

I know it’s not astrophysics here. But, all three of these things got me this week (along with a bad bout of the stomach flu.) I have a feeling that these are what trip you up too.

There are some powerful antidotes to distraction. Doing these things faithfully will just about eliminate distraction from your life. Again it’s not brain surgery, but a good reminder.

  • Get enough sleep – I know, right? But, how many of us really get enough rest? The average person needs 7-8 hours a sleep a night and one day of rest a week regularly.
  • Stay focused on priorities – Regardless of what you’re thinking right now; you can manage how committed you are. You can say no to adding more stuff to your schedule.

Tyler Perry makes a good point in the video below, focus on the one seed (dream) God has given you to water. It’s much easier to water, nurture, and care for one seed than ten.

I challenge you to seriously inspect your priority list. I find that too often are filled with things we feel obligated to do rather than only what God has asked of us.

For me, there are three main priorities (seeds) I believe God has given me to steward. My job is to aggressively fight against anything else that gets in the way of those three things. If something else comes into the mix that I must take on, then my job is to skillfully manage the balance.

This is much easier said than done. That’s why this next antidote is so important.

  • Keep going – Don’t stop. Keep pressing on. Keep picking yourself up when you fail. Keep moving. Keep believing. Keep growing. Keep learning. A “never-give-up” attitude goes a long way toward destroying insecurity.

I’m convinced that the dreamers who see the most fruit are the ones who focus on what God has given to them and who keep going regardless of set-backs.

I’m convinced that the only true failure is giving up. God may redirect us and change our focus, but he will never ask up to give up hope.

What is distracting you for your dream?

What are you going to do to get focused again?

Feb9

Doubt

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Doubt

Teri

All my life I’ve been a “Doubting Thomas” type personality.  Most of it stems from a fear of doing it wrong or having wrong done to me.  Some of it is the way I’m wired.   I’m a contemplater…a thinker…a ponderer.

I’ve been doubting again lately.  SO it got me thinking…

Being out here, risking just about everything, being outside of my comfort zone – doubts are inevitable.

The good news is the doubts don’t overwhelm me as they once did.  They don’t cause me to become paralyzed by my insecurities anymore.

Instead, I’m hoping they will help me fail forward.   (John C. Maxwell wrote a book of that title and I would recommend it to every dreamer out there.)

The concept is easy, “‘Failing forward’ is the ability to get back up after you’ve been knocked down, learn from your mistake, and move forward in a better direction.”  John C. Maxwell

The farther outside of your comfort zone you are, the more you are going to fail. 

The bigger the gap between what you have and what you need, the more likely you are to fall short.

However, I’m learning three things while I peer over a pretty large chasm between what I need and what I have:

  • Failing as part of the journey:  I’m failing now on a very regular basis.  Where I used to spend soooooo much time trying to avoid failure, now I see it as part of the journey.  Now,  I spend more time on learning from the failure.
  • Growing:  I’m learning much more about life and relationships and myself and God.  I’m growing more equipped to handle what is before me.
  • More of Jesus:  Jesus is becoming my greatest source of comfort.  He is becoming my God who fills the gap.  I’m relying more and more on Him and less and less on my ability, insight, or strength.  I’m pretty sure that’s called faith not foolishness.

I can choose to use my failure and inadequacy as a springboard into MORE.  I choose how I respond to the ups and downs of life.  I can choose more faith over more comfort and security.  I can choose to follow God’s dream and calling for my life.

My choice is a powerful weapon against getting stuck or giving up along the way.

I choose more…more life, more dreams, more courage, and more and more and more and more of Jesus.

What are you choosing today?

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”  Winston Churchill

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”  Theodore Roosevelt

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.”  Steve Jobs

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  2 Corinthians 12:8-10